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NO RELEASE. ONLY ARREST

Parody of Laaga Chunri mey Daag

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Nusrat and Mushtaq Manhoos Minhas in cooking shows after ban of their programs. Also about Dr Shahid and Hamid mir. A must watch!!

LOL!

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According to Newsweeek:

But newsweek didn’t tell the reason, MAXIM did:

Image manipulated by: Webresizer

Technorati Tags: Pakistan , Newsweek , Media , Politics , War on terror , Islam , extreemism , cartoon

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This is something which atleast I had not expected but then left-wing is not less surprising and immature than right-wing. Yeah, JesOS^TM, Operating system for Chiristians Only. :-). According to Issac Peters:

JesOS™ is made by Christians, for Christians! And the coding will never be outsourced to a country where they worship cows.”

There are some interesting salient features of JesOS^TM:

-All applications are integrated with a system-wide, context-sensitive spell checker and King James Bible dashboard widget. For example, if the user types terms such as “gay” or “LGBT,” the spell checker will automatically insert the verses from Leviticus and Romans on sodomy. In any text except direct quotations from the King James Bible, the spell checker will automatically correct all spellings to conform to U.S. orthography. “If American English is good enough for Jesus,” said Peters, “then it’s good enough for JesOS, and it’s more than good enough for you.”

-The operating system kernel will refuse calls from all applications that have not previously been cleared with the U.S. Department of Faith. For example, users should not expect to be able to play violent video games unless the violence comes straight out of the Old Testament or consists solely of that form of free speech popularly known as “hate crimes.”

-No “Recycle Bin” will be available on JesOS™. This ensures that the user won’t inadvertently lend credence to the Catholic idea of “purgatory”, when a file is deleted, it is gone. Jesus sends those bytes straight to the fiery pits of Hell — no if’s, and’s or but’s about it! Besides, True Christians™ don’t have any need to recycle in the real world, so why should we recycle on the computer?

And there are many other features as well. Following is the image of Web browser(called Interweb Explorer) which detects anti-Bible things.

Now sooner or later we would hear about some OS by atheists with name AthOS. This OS will take away all the burden of Development. No API, no programming shit since there would a some component named darwin.dll which will evolve itself and would create different applications without any intervention. Just you would have to keep your system UP for billions of seconds. It’s not sure whether AthOs will take care of Memory leak or will eat up all memory like FireFox.

Unlike other Oses, AthOs will not give you liberty to install or uninstall any application because according to fairy tale theory of evolution, our ancestors were nothing but bacteria billions of years away. Since those ancestors were associated with us unwillingly, chances are architects of AthOS will repeat the same phenomenon in their OS as well.

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Credit: Khaliq Khan of Jang.

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Write musharraf on any text field of form in FireFox web browser, it would show red underline to indicate error. When you right click the word, you find something like that:

Weired but true! isn’t it?

is it a mistake or…

anyways, whatever it is, its quite interesting!

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This is not new but since I read after a long time so I thought to share with my readers. Funny as well as bitter.

You know you are in Karachi, when

· A road with bumps and manholes still qualifies as a road.

· A short drive takes 25 minutes to get from A to B.

· Beggars travel in the local bus.

· Its December and you attend 5 mehndis / shaadis in one night and end up meeting the same people at each of them

· Sunday morning starts at 1 pm .

· There is no such thing as lunch.

· There is no such thing as over time yet everyone sits in their office till after 9 pm .

· To you wildlife means crows.

· Winter means the first 15 days of January.

· You actually go “out for coffee”

· You actually pray for the electricity to come back.

· You are afraid to go to a hospital because you might get a disease.

· You blame everything on K.E.S.C

· You can smell fish while driving and dont complain.

· You catagorize people as “burgers” or “melas”

· You dont take the police seriously at all.

· You feel you never have to wait in line if you are with “lay-diss” (ladies)

· You get shocked when someone stops at a yellow light

· You go to sleep listening to rickshaws and wake up to the sound of one.

· You have atleast 5 servings of some form of caffeine each day.

· You know you are in Karachi when there is two way traffic on a one way road.

· You know you are in Karachi if you cant go home when the president is in town.

· You ll go to the coolest place to eat but on your way back will want paan from the khoka.

· You make “missed calls”

· You never have dinner before 1am in shaadi season

· You never realized that North Nazimabad was actually in the North

· You never really know what to say when someone asks you what there is to see in Karachi

· You own either a Corolla or a Civic

· You roll down your car window and you can actually touch the car next to you

· You see street lights on during the day and not during the night.

· You still have some of Everest Videos movies and don’t plan to return them

· You think cows live on the streets.

· You think people are not cool if they havent been robbed atleast 3 times in their life.

· You use the phrases “whats the scene?”, “scene on hai”

· You go by landmarks not street names

· You know your city is a hole but you love it anyways

· You used to go for tutions even though didnt need them

· Your lungs have enough smoke to match a chain smoker.

· Your only argument in the Lahore / Karachi debate is “well we have a beach”

· Your school gets closed when it rains

· You’ve bought a DVD of a movie that hasn’t even been released yet

· You’ve given an exam at Regent Plaza

· You’ve met a Parsi

· You’ve never really seen a tourist

· You’ve always wondered what “khayaban” meant

· “I’m on Shahre Faisal” is always a valid excuse for arriving late.

· You say that you really like that restaurant / shop and someone says “oh yea, my family owns that”

Between YAFM means Yet Another Forward Mail 

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Whenever I get time, I try to watch movies by Ummah Films. Baba Ali, an American Muslim convert, has been doing excellent job to expose different kind of evils in and out of Islam.

This movie talks about hypocrisy lie among non-Muslims as well in MUSLIMS.

Ali talks about so called moderate and liberal Muslims who spread crap in the name of Islam. About so called scholars who spread crap by using local media. Such crappy scholars and so called intellectuals also exist among us in form of Aamir Liaquat,Ghamidi and Shoaib Mansoor.

Also also expose the ignorance of non-Muslim world about Jihad and other things.

Do listen this guy,he does make sense and talks to the point.

Technorati:ummahfilms,Islam,religion

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Itna Lamba Kash lo Yaroun Dam Nikal Jaye
Zindagi Sulgao Yaroun Dam Nikal Jaye

From Hu Tu Tu; Lyrics: Gulzar.

Image Credit: The Daily Express.

Technorati tags: Pakistan, blog, Pakistani blogs, Asma Jehangir, Human Rights

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