Adnan`s Crazy Blogging World

Many old time readers are fully aware that I am not into celebration of “days” like Mother’s Day,Valentine Day or Women’s Day etc because I believe that love can’t be stricted for a day.

Today the world is celebrating the Father’s Day which is usually celebrated on every 3rd Sunday of June. I am not here to talk about pros and cons of the day, the only reason to make this post about sharing my feelings and concerns as a new Dad as Allah recently honored me with the status of “father”.

Alhamdolillah I have been enjoying the status of a “son” for past 33 years and so far the journey is like a mixed chaat plate having both sweet and sour sauces. So many things I felt that they went wrong,offcourse that was a son’s perspective which could go wrong at anytime. Now when I have been a father for last 12 days Alhamdolillah then automatically things have got changed in me. Just like my father used to worry about me, I am also concerned for my new born son, Maaz. It feels strange and I am failed to use any logic to prove it but the fact is that as soon as you become a father you automatically starts feeling something for the person who is so new for you,who yet don’t recognize you at all. Usually we don’t feel something similar for other stranger but this new stranger brings something different that changes everything around you. I remember that when my son was 2 days old and my wife was hospitalized,the doctor had to examine his blood. I felt more pain than my son when the the syringe was injected in his tiny palm. Another father who was sitting next to me smiled at me and asked,”your first baby?” and I said “Yes” and then he smiled back and said,”Lag raha hay”. I myself was surprised that how is it all happening but it was happening. Without any scientific proof and logic, I had started feeling love for a little one who was just 2 days old. My wife was right. She often used to say before our baby’s birth that I would usually go restless for my son while she would be staying at her mother’s home . I always negated her and said that I would not make a difference between my wife and my kid. She did not mean that way, what all she meant that fatherhood would force me to contact her again and again to know about my kid. She was damn right. I have been defeated by fatherhood,Maaz’s love usually make me restless because I don’t find my son around because he is at his Nani’s place for a month or so.

I don’t know what kind of father I would be. Every parent wishes to give world’s best to their kids. The question is, what’s the definition of “best” for them? If there are parents who believe that giving “best” means world’s all luxuries but no awareness about the religion and education then unfortunately they have ruined their kids. When the kid will grow up, he will curse his parents for what they have given to him. Cursing is not all about saying bad to someone. If a kid was not properly treated and he was not told about the religion and manners then it would reflect other people in surroundings and when they will curse to him, they will actually be cursing parents. There is a hadith in Tirmizi in which Prophet(saw) says:

The best gift from a Father to his child is education and upbringing

A father is usually a role model for kids,specially son who copies what fathers do. So if you yourself are good,chances are you would unintentially teaches good thing to your son.

Being a father you should treat both your son and daughter equally. Though Allah blessed me with a son but If I was blessed with a daughter, I would have been equally happy or even more because daughters usually care more for their parents then sons and our Prophet(saw) also blessed those parents who gave birth to a girl than a boy.

Ok so I was talking about teaching and coaching to your kids. Right now I am not fully aware how to do it and my elders and my religion will be guiding me through out of my life but I would just say one thing that make your children beneficial for you. I would quote an incident here:

Prophet Muhammad (salla Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) once passed by a woman who was laughing with her friends and he said to her that her Father is being punished in the Grave. She went home and cried to Allah to save him. When Muhammad (salla Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) passed by the ladies Father’s Grave, he heard silence (meaning there was no punishment). He (salla Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) went back to the lady to inform her that her Du’a saved her father from further punishment from the Grave.

So,if you have taught your kids how to pray for you after your death then your kids could be helpful for you at the time when no one else would be saving you.

In last I would recommend a book to EVERY FATHER to read,Misaali Baap by Abdul Majid,it’s in Urdu. Every book of Misali series is popular. I had not read any book of the series but my wife who had been reading “Misaali Maa” was quite impressed with the content which provoked me to buy this book.

Usually people don’t care because they believe that they are “born parents” and know everything while in reality they know nothing. So if you re willing to up bring your kid according to Quran and Sunnah then do read the book or consult some learned scholar who can guide you in this regard.

Pray for me that Allah give me enough strength to make my kid a useful member of the society, more specially, a useful member of Islamic Ummah. May Allah guide us,Ameen